We laughed hooting like
crazed owls mocking poets
Your dimples caved in
My giggles kept them cratered
Our smiles wide as sunrise
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Trains of thought and cosmic contemplations....
About Me
Blog Archive
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2010
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April
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- PAD #23: For "It Girls" (Women in the spotlight)
- PAD #22: Today
- PAD #20: Expose
- PAD #19: Back Again (Ocean)
- PAD #13: The Spirit Beautiful
- napowrimo #11
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- Napowrimo # 9
- NaPoWrimo #8: Unusual Love Poem
- NaPoWriMo #7: Love (Funny Side Up)
- NaPoWrimo #6: Whorey Angel (after Betty Davis)
- Naprowrimo prompt #5: Jazzy Belle
- Napowrimo prompt #4: Inside Out
- Napowrimo prompt #3; Fears
- Napowrimo Prompt #2: Right Wing Porn
- Napowrimo Prompt#1: Shuffle Poem
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April
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8 comments:
Funny! Well done. Love the dimples.
Owls, you say? Mocking, You say?
Not bloody likely.
Fine write.
Where were those dimples exactly?
Love these lines:
Your dimples caved in.
My giggles kept them cratered.
I don't think you need so much in the way of periods/fullstops though. e.g.
we laughed hooting like
crazed owls mocking poets
your dimples caved in
my giggles kept them cratered
our smiles wide as sunrise
Tanka originated as a one line poem in Japanese, but we tend to break them up, but still copy using minimal punctuation.
Good tanka! ;-)
Alan
Thank you for your comments, everyone.
@ Rallentanda They are in his cheeks.
@ Alan Excellent suggestions
lovely Legacy....nice dimples too.....thanks again for this
Smiles wide as sunrise
Nice!
Pamela
I enjoyed this poem as I actually caught the contagion of smiling.
Thanks,
Shari
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