Thursday, April 22, 2010

PAD #22: Today

For two days I have neglected
the world.
Turned inward and regarded
the mess that has become my life.
Part of me, does not know
how I got here.
Another, knows damn well
I have been a long time crumbling.

I am not broken,
but there are fissures in my soul.
Fault lines waiting to widen
with the next hurt.
Emotional meltdowns when
my hands and mind are not busy.
I tried to avoid home,
and found myself standing on corners.
Crying.
This is when I lost myself.

Tears come like intermittent downpours.
I am never prepared.
I can't stop the spills,
and maybe many more will fall
before this is done.
Stage faces were meant
to be washed off at some point.
I look very human right now.

I will stop apologizing
for all that I am not.
For having feelings.
Stop listening to those
who are not inside my head.
Take this one step at a time.
Reclaim my life and remain
brave enough to be this woman
whose blood is a river of fires
searching for the eternal sea.

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